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 You Didn't See Anything, [514.7.25] Lorux/Tawny
Soleil
 Posted: Apr 10 2018, 06:34 PM
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Soleil

Candidate
The Ice Queen
Apprentice Healer

N/A
N/A

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Played by: Prongs





The urge to be out, to be gone, was nearly overwhelming as she walked away from Aleina. It took every ounce of Soleil's rather formidable self-control to keep from running straight out of the candidate barracks. In this kind of mood she didn't care who she ran into or knocked over, or who saw her - she just wanted out.

Which was exactly why she made herself slow down and walk (albeit walk fast) instead of running. There were a fair amount of people in the corridor at that time of day, and if she felt any of their eyes were lingering a bit too long on her she gave them a wintry glare that was guaranteed to make people look away, even if they hadn't been staring at her. Good - it was nice to know that, at least, was still going correctly.

At this point Phin was keeping up his anxious trilling, and the sound was getting higher and higher pitched as Soleil wound her way through the corridors. There was... just around here, perhaps... yes. The abandoned storage room she had hidden in after failing to Impress at the hatching! This was perfect - no one used it or looked in it, she could stay there and fall to pieces for a while.

Aleina. At Sirocco. Guilt tripping her for Aleina's own actions. No.

Emotions flowed and welled inside her until she felt she would burst from them. Tears pricked the corners of her eyes, and her movements became almost frantic as she broke and darted for the closet door. Had to get inside before -

She yanked on the handle. The door didn't budge. She tried again and again but no dice. Someone had found and locked this abandoned sharding door.

"Shards!" she whisper-screamed, yanking viciously on the door once more to keep from kicking the stupid thing.
^
Lorux
 Posted: Apr 11 2018, 04:38 PM
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Lorux

Candidate
Scrappy and Hungry
-- --

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Played by: Tawny





Well, that had happened! He hadn't caught all of the conversation from his dorm room but he'd pretty much got the gist of it. He hadn't even known Soleil had a sister, but that wasn't really surprising given how much she didn't share personal details. He waited a short while before leaving his room and his firelizards spread out to look for Soleil, she'd probably not want company but he wanted to check that she was alright.

It was Rukbat who found Soleil, or maybe he found Phin but either way he told Lorux which way to go and he came around the corner just as she was yanking on the door handle of one of the currently empty storage rooms. Soleil obvious worked up was a strange sight and she might well just want him to shaff off, he didn't really know to to approach this at all and so he decided to take his usual tactic of just saying what seemed right at the time.

Lorux cleared his throat. "I can open that for you if you like."
^
Soleil
 Posted: Apr 11 2018, 06:06 PM
Quote

Soleil

Candidate
The Ice Queen
Apprentice Healer

N/A
N/A

Profile | Plotpage

Played by: Prongs





In that moment all she registered was that someone was talking to her. She hadn't paid any attention to the voice of the person or the words they had said - she just registered the throat clearing, and that they were speaking. Soleil whirled on that poor person without any real thought, her teeth bared in a silent snarl as she prepared to tell whoever was talking to her to shove off between.

But it was Lorux.

Soleil blinked, the vicious expression slowly dropping from her face as she looked at him. Lorux was a... she didn't have friends, but he was an acquaintance. He was a known entity, and perhaps that was a little bit safer than someone she didn't know at all stopping to say something to her. The other candidate had been kind and cheerful towards her when she knew she hadn't deserved it, and now here he was, trying to help her while she attacked a door.

Known quantity or not she didn't want him to see her like this. Faranth only knew what he would take from her obvious agitation, so she tried, she really tried, to bring back that icy look she normally wore. And in part she succeeded - her eyes froze over and her features stilled, but there were cracks. Obvious ones, like the tears in her eyes and the slight wobble to her lips that even she couldn't freeze completely.

Aleina at Sirocco. Aleina had come back, after abandoning her for all those years. And there was no way that she could let herself trust it.

Something swelled in her chest, something sharp and painful and a little desperate. "Yes," she said, that cool voice as unsteady as her appearance.
^
Lorux
 Posted: Apr 11 2018, 06:27 PM
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Lorux

Candidate
Scrappy and Hungry
-- --

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Played by: Tawny





Lorux quickly decided that he hadn't seen Soleil's trembling lip or the tears in her eyes, it definitely hadn't happened and he'd be glad to tell that to anyone who asked. Seeing her like this was... well it wasn't nice, not at all, and his usually ever-present smile faded as he nodded and stepped up to the door. "Right."

The lock wasn't anything fancy, just a latch to keep people looking for somewhere for a tumble out, and it was the work of a moment to get Rukbat to fetch him a lifter from the caverns. When he slipped it through the gap it caught on the second try and he was able to lift it up and push the door open.

Inside it was dark, no glows, nothing much in there at all by the look of it. Soleil would probably appreciate the dark, he didn't think for a moment that she was happy for somebody to see her upset. Maybe if he couldn't see her she wouldn't mind if he was there? Would she want to talk or?-

Well she could always tell him to shaff off.

With this decided as he started to push the door open Lorux stepped inside and held it for Soleil.
^
Soleil
 Posted: Apr 11 2018, 06:38 PM
Quote

Soleil

Candidate
The Ice Queen
Apprentice Healer

N/A
N/A

Profile | Plotpage

Played by: Prongs





Soleil stood there in utter silence while she waited for Lorux to open the door. Phin had stopped his trilling now that help had arrived and was instead rubbing his cheek against hers, crooning softly in a constant offer of support. She watched as Rukbat returned, watched as Lorux jimmied the lock and got the door open.

Watched as Lorux stepped inside the closet and held the door open for her.

The closet was dark and private and dark, and she could lose it without anyone seeing her. Even Lorux wouldn't be able to see her if he was in there. The bubble in her chest burst as she considered him and Soleil could literally feel her face crumpling. That wouldn't do out there in the corridor so she practically dove into the closet, slapping a hand over her mouth to muffle any potential crying.

She should thank him. He had done something kind for her and deserved a thank you, but even in her current state, she couldn't force the words out.

What she did say was, "Close the door." Her voice barely sounded like it belonged to her, with a tinge of desperation around the edges. She didn't like it but there was nothing she could do about it at the moment - it was all she could do to keep the pieces together until they were shut inside.
^
Lorux
 Posted: Apr 12 2018, 01:21 PM
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Lorux

Candidate
Scrappy and Hungry
-- --

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N/A

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Played by: Tawny





Yep. Well.... Crap.

Lorux closed the door, now only the tinest crack of light was filtering in and it wasn't enough for him to see by, it just sort of gave colour to the darkness. Lorux leaned against the rough surface of the door, pushed his fingers through his hair and wondered what to do next, he didn't consider himself all that good at this kind of stuff with anyone and he definitely didn't know how to approach it with Soleil. Maybe he should start with shutting up for once? As he couldn't actually think of anything to say right now it seemed like a good idea.

Rukbat was more confident of what to do next, he already knew Soleil and Phin and so he fluttered into the air and landed carefully on Soleil's other shoulder, thankfully there was still just enough light for him to see where he was going. Once he was settled he joined Phin in crooning and nosing her cheek, he didn't know why she was upset but he wanted to make it better.
^
Soleil
 Posted: Apr 12 2018, 04:56 PM
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Soleil

Candidate
The Ice Queen
Apprentice Healer

N/A
N/A

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Played by: Prongs





Blessed, blessed darkness. As soon as she was sure Lorux couldn't see her Soleil let her expression crumble. The ice fell away in swift, melting chunks, revealing the heartsick woman that usually hid so well underneath it. Letting go of one thing helpd her rein in another, and Soleil was able to keep herself from too loudly, which was a small thing to be thankful for but at that point she would take it.

Rukbat's weight on her shoulder was surprisingly welcome, and she put her hands up to stroke both firelizards gently in thanks. It took a while for her to get herself under enough control that she trusted herself to speak. Perhaps sometime she would find a way to thank Lorux for his help and for his silence. This, however, was not that time.

Maybe instead of an immediate thank you she could give him some information. "The last time I saw my sister was shortly after my mother died," she said, her voice raspy and hoarse. "Around ten turns ago, now."
^
Lorux
 Posted: Apr 12 2018, 05:09 PM
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Lorux

Candidate
Scrappy and Hungry
-- --

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Played by: Tawny





Apparently the tiny bit of light was enough for firelizards, that or they just knew how to get here from Rukbat because Lorux was suddenly aware of his other three in the closet too. As the silence hung in the air he sat down slowly, back still pressed against the door just in case anyone else thought to come barging in.

He didn't know what he'd expected next from Soleil but it hadn't been what she said. "Oh." Pain and sadness and stuff he didn't want to remember stabbed him in the chest and he looked down at his hands, which he couldn't see because it was dark. Holder had climbed into his lap though, that was nice. "I'm sorry, I know it's hard losing a parent when you're young like that. Uh.... So where's she been all this time?" He'd not had any siblings but there'd been other drudges his age and he'd been close to some of them, was that the same thing? He didn't write them enough, or send enough treats and things. Could he get them Searched somehow? Some of them? Did Sirocco even still do that now it was legitimate and all?
^
Soleil
 Posted: Apr 12 2018, 05:21 PM
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Soleil

Candidate
The Ice Queen
Apprentice Healer

N/A
N/A

Profile | Plotpage

Played by: Prongs





Soleil's hand stilled on the firelizards. "She was gone long before she died," she said softly. It was a hard, painful truth - one she had hidden from herself for a long time. Her mother had been gone from the moment their father had left them, and though Soleil had done everything she could to bring back the happy, cheerful mother she had known, none of it had worked.

Then Lorux asked where Aleina had been, and the pain in her chest crystallized, becoming hard and sharp enough to cut. "The Smith Hall. She's a glasscrafter." The words were practically spat out. Ten sharding turns and not once had Aleina visited or asked her to come visit. No - Aleina had left her alone at the Healer Hall without a glance back, and now here they were.

"She's written. More when we were younger, rarely as we got older. But never once showed up for a visit, never once said or implied she wanted to see me. And now..." Soleil sucked in a breath and cut off her words, not wanting to say too much.
^
Lorux
 Posted: Apr 13 2018, 07:07 PM
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Lorux

Candidate
Scrappy and Hungry
-- --

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Played by: Tawny





Oh.

He remembered when his Mam had been dying, it had felt like forever at the time - she'd not wanted fellis, because she'd wanted to be there for him in her mind - but looking back it had been quick. One hoof blow, collapsing a few hours later, and then a few days and....

He didn't know what Soleil meant by long gone before she died but it hurt still and he was glad of the darkness because it didn't matter that tears were pricking at his own eyes. It'd been nearly ten turns now but he still.....

Lorux cleared his throat. "And now she's just here? She didn't tell you she was coming, I'm guessing." Had she meant it as a nice surprise? It obviously hadn't been taken that way, and knowing Soleil the little he did that wasn't a surprise.
^
Soleil
 Posted: Apr 13 2018, 07:26 PM
Quote

Soleil

Candidate
The Ice Queen
Apprentice Healer

N/A
N/A

Profile | Plotpage

Played by: Prongs





“I was lucky to hear from her once a month, at the end.” Soleil’s fingers curled into fists and she squeezed her eyes shut. The sense of abandonment that she had carefully hidden and nurtured since her father had left them had sprouted flowers and flourished beautifully when she’d decided her sister had also abandoned her. That feeling had deep, deep roots now, and Soleil wasn’t sure whether she wanted to start cutting it down or water it.

She hated that she didn’t know.

“So I decided I was done with her too. She didn’t want me,” her breath caught and she fell silent for a minute as she tried to get herself under control. “So I didn’t want her. And I came here, and I didn’t write or tell her. I cut her off too.”

Soleil opened her eyes and sighed softly. “And then she showed up here and acted like it was all my fault. That I should have expected to be left because ‘she couldn’t be a healer’.” Why was she saying all of this? Lorux didn’t need to know all of these things about her - she didn’t want him to know, and yet there she was, pouring all of it out anyway.
^
Lorux
 Posted: Apr 13 2018, 07:40 PM
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Lorux

Candidate
Scrappy and Hungry
-- --

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Played by: Tawny





Just from the sound of it he didn't think it was Soleil's sister's fault. They'd both been kids, both lost their Mam and people dealt with stuff different - maybe she'd just needed to get away. That wasn't much help to Soleil though now was it? She'd been left at Healer Hall by the sounds of it, and she definitely hadn't loved her craft but she'd stuck with it - she had, her sister hadn't.

"I can see why you would," Lorux said slowly. "I mean, I never had no siblings but that sounds.... Yeah." After all that time apart they both had blame right? Neither'd gone to see the other, but Soleil made it sound like it was her sister that'd lessened their letters. Neither had wanted to heal but Soleil had lumped it, while her sister had gone off and got into something she loved and maybe that'd made her too busy to write as much as she should. Did Soleil envy her for taking her own life in her hands and doing what she wanted to, or did she resent her for abandoning a family duty? Both? Other stuff too? Definitely other stuff too whatever else was true, families and people were always complicated.

Lorux rubbed his eyes with the back of his hand and then combed his fingers back through his hair. "Ten turns is a lot. I dunno. I guess... I guess if I was trying to get back in touch I wouldn't surprise somebody like that." Even if had been meant to be nice and exciting it had been pretty poorly judged by the sound of it.
^
Soleil
 Posted: Apr 13 2018, 08:27 PM
Quote

Soleil

Candidate
The Ice Queen
Apprentice Healer

N/A
N/A

Profile | Plotpage

Played by: Prongs





"She didn't write." The words came out as a whisper when Soleil meant them to come out hard. This whole 'having an emotional crisis' thing was getting old and she was done with it - it was time to start pulling herself together. And she would - right after this.

"She's clearly known where I was. She told me I'd made her worry for a turn before she could get down here." The mere idea of that was laughable to Soleil. If her sister had cared so much, had worried so much, why the shards hadn't she written Soleil the minute she found out where she was? It had all been a test - an elaborate version of the test she usually pushed new people through, and Aleina had failed. Royally. Spectacularly.

But she came back, a traitorous voice whispered in her mind. No - Aleina had decided that Soleil was worth her time now that they were both adults. She'd had no time for her younger sister when they'd been younger, but now that Soleil didn't really need her Aleina wanted to play concerned and watchful older sibling? "But she didn't send a letter or anything like that. Nothing. Just showed up and felt like she had the right to yell at me."

Which Aleina did not have, and had not had for a long, long time.
^
Lorux
 Posted: Apr 14 2018, 04:23 PM
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Lorux

Candidate
Scrappy and Hungry
-- --

N/A
N/A

Profile | Plotpage

Played by: Tawny





A turn without writing to one another? Ten without seeing one another? Lorux was struggling to get his head around that, either of them could have written in the time Soleil had been here at Sirocco but they hadn't and now Aleina was here out of the blue. She must've asked for the positing to see Soleil, right? But Soleil obviously didn't want to see her.

"I don't get why she wouldn't write," Lorux said after a brief pause, rubbing his thumb in little circles on Holder's flank as he spoke. "Did she say anything about that? And why she wrote less often?" Whatever she might've said though he doubted it had made Soleil feel much better, feel any less... abandoned? It sounded like that was how she felt, abandoned and rejected.
^
Soleil
 Posted: Apr 14 2018, 05:28 PM
Quote

Soleil

Candidate
The Ice Queen
Apprentice Healer

N/A
N/A

Profile | Plotpage

Played by: Prongs





Didn't get why? Soleil had already told him. "She didn't want me," Soleil repeated. This time her words came out cold and crystal clear. If Aleina had written to Soleil while she'd been at Sirocco Aleina would have passed the test. Soleil would have written back, and Aleina's arrival at the Weyr would have been a welcome - if slightly uncomfortable - thing instead of the absolute slap in the face that it had been.

"She didn't say. Although her last words to me before she left the Hall those turns ago were 'you have your work and I have mine', so I'm guessing she was too busy." Ice, blessed, freezing, controlled ice had begun to enter her voice again. Slowly but surely Soleil was getting herself under control. The panicked, hurt tears were giving way to a cold, crystallized anger.

Soleil could live with being angry. She'd been that way for so many turns now she couldn't remember a time when she hadn't been angry. "I don't want her here, Lorux."
^
Lorux
 Posted: Apr 15 2018, 11:28 AM
Quote

Lorux

Candidate
Scrappy and Hungry
-- --

N/A
N/A

Profile | Plotpage

Played by: Tawny





Didn't seem fair, Aleina not wanting her sister... And if she really didn't why had she come down here? Lorux doubted he'd be able to figure that out without knowing her at least a little bit but somehow he'd feel like he was betraying Soleil if he went and buddied up to her, he knew Soleil probably didn't consider him a friend or anything but that wasn't the point - you stuck by your mates, even if they didn't think they were your mate.

Ten turns was a long time to remember somebody's words but last words stuck with you so he wasn't surprised when they were at the top of Soleil's mind, especially now of all times. "I don't reckon I would either," Lorux said, pushing his fingers through his thick hair and then leaning his head back against the door. "I don't think there's anything we can do to get rid of her, but I can ask my mates to make her life a bit annoying if it'd make you feel any better - mix ups in the laundry and that." Soleil didn't strike him as the type to go in for that sort of thing but you never knew, and either way maybe it would amuse her a bit.
^
Soleil
 Posted: Apr 15 2018, 12:45 PM
Quote

Soleil

Candidate
The Ice Queen
Apprentice Healer

N/A
N/A

Profile | Plotpage

Played by: Prongs





Soleil paused for a moment and really thought Lorux's offer over. Agreeing to something like that would make it seem like she cared. Soleil didn't want anyone to think that. And yet... well, Lorux was in a dark closet with her and had been listening to her cry for the past however many minutes. There was no hiding from him that she cared about this.

"I would like that," she said. She had told Aleina that this home didn't want her. Maybe this could help convince her sister of that. If Aleina left, everything would go back to normal. Everything would settle. But something else had occurred to her.

"Why are you doing this?" Genuine curiosity rang in a voice that was suddenly devoid of ice. Soleil sounded oddly sweet when she wasn't being defensive, and for the moment, after Lorux's offer... "I'm not a nice person. Why are you helping me or trying to make me feel better?"
^
Lorux
 Posted: Apr 15 2018, 02:06 PM
Quote

Lorux

Candidate
Scrappy and Hungry
-- --

N/A
N/A

Profile | Plotpage

Played by: Tawny





Soleil's agreement was a pleasant surprise; Lorux grinned at the darkness and nodded. "I'll ask a few people I can trust then. Won't be anything too big, nothing suspicious, just bits of bad luck like getting the over-steeped klah or nice shirts getting lost in the laundry. Happens all the time right?" He definitely wasn't going to ask anything that could get tied back to anyone and get them in trouble.

A thoughtful pause followed Soleil's question as Lorux scratched his jaw and tried to work out how to put what he wanted to say. "I don't think you're not nice," he said eventually. "You're not all warm and fuzzy sure but that doesn't mean you're nasty or you don't care about people. You wouldn't have helped me get all the pieces of shell if you didn't care and.... Well, yeah. I thought you could use somebody on your side." Maybe her sister really did care, maybe she thought she was on her side, but Soleil had taken it as adding injury to injury.
^
Soleil
 Posted: Apr 15 2018, 03:34 PM
Quote

Soleil

Candidate
The Ice Queen
Apprentice Healer

N/A
N/A

Profile | Plotpage

Played by: Prongs





Her conscious pricked at her a little bit but Soleil ignored it. If it started to prick too hard she could speak to Lorux and ask him to pass on the word to stop doing what they were doing.

Somebody on her side. Soleil wanted that with everything in her - wanted to believe that Lorux meant it. But she couldn't. There had been so many people that had told her they loved her, or cared about her, or that they were on her side. All of those people had eventually left. People said a lot of things in the moment that they forgot or took back later.

Lorux didn't seem like that kind of person. Then again, neither had any of the people that had proven her wrong. He was being kind to her, though, and in that moment she could allow it. She didn't have to trust him, could easily ignore the thought that he was her... that word. And no matter how Soleil played it she didn't really want to be thought of as a bad or cruel person, even if she felt appearing that way was necessary. Bad and cruel people weren't bothered like nice people were - the warning label kept others away. Usually, anyway.

It wouldn't keep Lorux away. That fact was beyond obvious now, and if he hadn't believed it before anyway there was no way he would now. Soleil sight softly and rested the back of her head against the cavern wall. "That's kind of you," was all she could bring herself to say.
^
Lorux
 Posted: Apr 16 2018, 05:45 PM
Quote

Lorux

Candidate
Scrappy and Hungry
-- --

N/A
N/A

Profile | Plotpage

Played by: Tawny





Kind of him? Lorux wasn't sure how to reply to that at first but after a pause he said; "Thanks, but you don't need to thank me. That's what I'm here for, alright?" Somehow he hadn't thought that 'that's what friends are for' would fly with Soleil, just a hunch. "And I'll keep you up to date on anything that might've accidentally on purpose happened to Aleina." From what they'd said just now, he felt like that might.
^
Soleil
 Posted: Apr 16 2018, 06:05 PM
Quote

Soleil

Candidate
The Ice Queen
Apprentice Healer

N/A
N/A

Profile | Plotpage

Played by: Prongs





She hadn't thanked him. It was tempting to point that out, to let him know that all she'd said was that he was being kind. That wasn't the kind of statement that said 'thank you', but she let it stand.

'What he was there for'. Ha. It was what Lorux was there for at the moment. Soleil knew better than to trust that kind of statement and apply it to anything longer term. All she could bring herself to do was jerk her chin up in acknowledgement of his words. It was a gesture he wouldn't be able to see in the dark, so it felt safe. "I would like that," she said.

The words 'thank you' wouldn't pass her lips, and Soleil didn't have the energy to try and force them to at that moment. "Maybe she'll take the hint."
^
Lorux
 Posted: Apr 18 2018, 04:54 PM
Quote

Lorux

Candidate
Scrappy and Hungry
-- --

N/A
N/A

Profile | Plotpage

Played by: Tawny





Lorux shrugged and nodded at the darkness. "Maybe, maybe not. At least you'll know that her life's a bit of a pain sometimes as long as she's here." It was petty he guessed but it didn't actually hurt Aleina and it would make Soleil feel a bit better which in the balance of things made it a good deed as far as he was concerned, or at least it did if you looked at it in the right light.

"Should be easy enough to avoid her too, not like candidates and crafters mingle a lot by chance, and if she tries to bug you too much you can tell the candidatemaster she's interfering with your studies or something - that'll get put a stop to quick enough." A journeywoman was technically higher up the pecking order than a candidate, but a candidate might one day become a rider and he was pretty sure that the Weyr leadership wouldn't put up with one being messed about even if it was by family.
^
Soleil
 Posted: Yesterday at 11:26 am
Quote

Soleil

Candidate
The Ice Queen
Apprentice Healer

N/A
N/A

Profile | Plotpage

Played by: Prongs





Soleil's mouth curved upwards in a slight, agreeing smile. There was no harm in the gesture - Lorux couldn't see it, and anyway, he'd been standing there with her while she'd cried, so how much more damage could it do? The answer was a lot, honestly. He'd already seen her be weak in one way - he didn't need to see it in another. Simply put, Soleil didn't want him to see her smile.

"Her specialty is leaving me alone," she murmured, pleased that her tone was beginning to hold its usual ice. "I can't see her bothering me." Shards, Aleina hadn't been around even when Soleil had wanted her there. Chances were her sister would sense this new hostility and just steer clear of her.

Even if Aleina did try again, Soleil wouldn't report her. She had her own little method of keeping people away, of testing them to see if they would stick around regardless. Getting Aleina in trouble with the candidate masters would do nothing but ruin that. Besides, Soleil wasn't in the habit of hiding behind others. It felt too much like relying on someone else, and that was something she absolutely would not do.

"If she does come back I can handle her." Her reaction had been caused purely by the fact that she hadn't been expecting her sister to show up at Sirocco. She certainly hadn't expected her sister to show up and start throwing righteousness and guilt trips around. Now, though, she would be ready.
^
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